Treatment Philosophy, Part 2

I wanted to add a few notes about my treatment. I believe that you got to meet people where they are at. What I mean by this is that if a person is motivated for change, we are going to talk about ways to change right now. If a person is unsure, then you work on  motivating them and see if they do want to change. The one thing I will not address immediately is past trauma. Why? I think it is irresponsible to work on it right away. You must develop skills and be sure that a person is ready to go there and have the tools to recuperate from discussing trauma. Therapy is only an hour a week but dealing with past trauma goes beyond the hour meeting. Give skills in order for the person to deal with possible thoughts about the trauma when the therapist is not there.
One of the first lessons I got from one of my favorite clients is that you must be real. People have been lied to, told stories, made promises, and had guarantees made to them in the past. Most of them turned out to be untrue or filled with conditions or "but"s. I think being as real as possible is what makes therapeutic alliances last. I am who I am and that is OK. I have some faults and I will always say that if I make only one or two mistakes in a day, that is an awesome day. We all make mistakes and we need to be honest about it. I expect that you will not come in perfect and I got to admit my mistakes when I make them. One of my favorite quotes from that same client is the following: "We can smell a phony a mile away". For the record, I still see this client in counseling.
If you read my blog, I disclose some information. I don't mind you knowing that. I also don't mind personal questions. I think they can be appropriate at times. I always remember the statement of one of my favorite singer. She said: "There is a difference between secrecy and privacy". Secrecy implies you have something to hide. Privacy is just normal stuff that is not kept secret, just some information that are private. If you ask me if I have a cat, why would that be secret or private? If you ask me where I live, well that is private. It's a line that can be blurry but I think that showing transparency improves the relationship with the clients. Making it about me, well that is wrong. I don't think everything about me should be secret but there are certain things that are private.
I also believe in the expression of emotions. Most people avoid certain emotions, especially some that are perceive as negative. I tell people to live their emotions, every one of them, as long as they do it appropriately. What I find is I have to facilitate the expression of these emotions. I think that if you live your emotions, you will feel more fulfill, more complete, and less repressed. I also like to make people feel uncomfortable. If you are having therapy and you are comfortable and you feel your therapist is on your side, you may not be getting everything you can from your therapist. I challenge, ask difficult questions, and make you feel like this is hard work. I think you need to challenge every client in order to earn your keep so to speak. Most of my clients appreciate it...eventually.