Interesting findings on this non-scientific poll: Short-term treatment and experience of therapist tied for first place. I also found it interesting that no one voted for confidentiality. Most people who come through my door make sure who I can and cannot speak to.
All comments are welcome.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Taking the Stigma Out of Counseling
Recently, a very prominent former football player died of an apparent suicide at a very young age. I will not be discussing his case, as I feel it is disrespectful due to not knowing all the details, nor what happened or what was happening in their life.
After a hard time in your life, it can be difficult to admit that you may need some help. I don't want to pretend that counseling is the only solution. After all, you have friends, family, neighbors, people you trust that can be open to listening to you, help you out, give you a sense of direction, and make you feel good. I think that some of you can name one or two people in our lives that are like that. If you can, you are lucky. It is a great gift and you keep these people close to you.
However, sometimes, the best intentions do not help you. We can also all remember a time that we reached out to a trusted person about something and we kind of left scratching our heads, angrier, more upset, and/or more confused. It is not because their intentions were not good (although, it can happen that the intentions weren't that great) but it may not be what you were looking for. Or maybe they took another person's side and didn't get your point of view. Or you were unable to open up about stuff that can be hard to discuss.
If I have to say it, I will: "I am cheating on my partner"; "I am not sure if I am gay, straight, or bisexual"; "I am stealing from others"; "I've been addicted to a substance and cannot stop"; "I sometimes think of ending it all"; "I have a plan to get rid of my problems"; "I don't know what to do: I am in serious debt"; "I hate not working anymore"; "I sometimes just don't want to be a parent anymore". Think about it: How easy are any of those subjects to discuss with someone, even someone you trust? I know most people do not have those thoughts...or do they? I really think the issue is not talking about it, it is finding a person to talk about these things.
I think most of the questions I mentioned have something in common: Stigma. I mean those subjects are pretty taboo. It is not cool, it is not OK, it is not acceptable to think these things, never mind say them out loud. A strong person, particularly men, don't have these problems. And if you are a celebrity or a sports figure, what gives you the right to think these things? You have the whole world in your hand, don't think these things!
Of course, reality is that EVERYBODY has a right to think these things. And if you recognize that they are wrong, why wouldn't you reach out? Shame, of course comes to mind, as well as pride. And if you are in the limelight, it is hard to get help, as reaching out can be in the public eye. And sometimes, people don't understand HIPPA and go to the wrong people. And if you are a man, deal with your problems as a man.
Reaching out is a brave act but unfortunately, it is not always recognize as such, especially by the person who does reach out. Other people also will find ways to use these problems as a psychological edge on others, which is especially true in sports or celebrity circles. But guess what? After celebrity and your sports career is over, you still may have these problems. Then what? Reaching out and having the public support it is the key to start the reaching out of troubled thoughts. It is also a safe, effective way to deal with your issues. And maybe, just maybe, you get the right treatment, the right time and your future gets better.
It may be brain injury related, it may be inherited, but frankly the Social setting (particularly changing public perception) is the key to avoid future tragedies. Now, do you have the testicular fortitude to support this?
If I have to say it, I will: "I am cheating on my partner"; "I am not sure if I am gay, straight, or bisexual"; "I am stealing from others"; "I've been addicted to a substance and cannot stop"; "I sometimes think of ending it all"; "I have a plan to get rid of my problems"; "I don't know what to do: I am in serious debt"; "I hate not working anymore"; "I sometimes just don't want to be a parent anymore". Think about it: How easy are any of those subjects to discuss with someone, even someone you trust? I know most people do not have those thoughts...or do they? I really think the issue is not talking about it, it is finding a person to talk about these things.
I think most of the questions I mentioned have something in common: Stigma. I mean those subjects are pretty taboo. It is not cool, it is not OK, it is not acceptable to think these things, never mind say them out loud. A strong person, particularly men, don't have these problems. And if you are a celebrity or a sports figure, what gives you the right to think these things? You have the whole world in your hand, don't think these things!
Of course, reality is that EVERYBODY has a right to think these things. And if you recognize that they are wrong, why wouldn't you reach out? Shame, of course comes to mind, as well as pride. And if you are in the limelight, it is hard to get help, as reaching out can be in the public eye. And sometimes, people don't understand HIPPA and go to the wrong people. And if you are a man, deal with your problems as a man.
Reaching out is a brave act but unfortunately, it is not always recognize as such, especially by the person who does reach out. Other people also will find ways to use these problems as a psychological edge on others, which is especially true in sports or celebrity circles. But guess what? After celebrity and your sports career is over, you still may have these problems. Then what? Reaching out and having the public support it is the key to start the reaching out of troubled thoughts. It is also a safe, effective way to deal with your issues. And maybe, just maybe, you get the right treatment, the right time and your future gets better.
It may be brain injury related, it may be inherited, but frankly the Social setting (particularly changing public perception) is the key to avoid future tragedies. Now, do you have the testicular fortitude to support this?
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